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    November 30

    自然之爱

         把从前的旧杂志重新翻出来看,4月份的《读者》,原创版。
     
       还是那篇已经看过的文章,可是在看的时候,却发现了不同的感知。也许是作为读者的我的心境已经有所改变,觉得流畅的书写背后不仅仅是叙述的乐趣,更多的是感悟,是洞悉过往的沧桑。
     
       那是一篇关于恋爱的文章,和很多的小说一样,它有浪漫的情节,美好的人物,悲伤的终点。可是,很不同的是,它是真实的,关于凤凰卫视主持人何东曾经的单恋故事。在他的年轻时代,在北京的研究所里他邂逅了初恋(单恋也算初恋吧),爱上对方的他在岁月中承受了心灵的煎熬,等待的折磨,以及最终失败的绝望。也许,这样的故事在人生的情感道路上司空见惯,没有任何地方值得现代人去惊讶。我也并不惊讶,我只是叹息,为他曾经的真爱不能慧眼识英雄而惋惜。除此之外,我更欣赏主人公经历感情挫折之后的一段话。
     
       何东在他的博客里写道“理想可追,事业可求。唯独爱情却是追不来也求不得的。人们常常会将追求二字用在爱情当中,其实才是最不恰当。真的爱,自然而然,情不自禁,身不由己,两情相悦,根本无所谓追,更无所谓求。”
     
       这样的一段话使我想到张爱玲,男人爱名利甚于爱她,可是她却要去追求自己的爱情,所以,一生遗憾;想到曾经相爱,又在岁月之中渐渐不爱的人们,如若真的不爱,那么追忆往事可否重温爱意,答案当然是不。
     
       曾经,我对世界上的很多定律都充满了好奇,希望用自己的思辨揭开一切的情感定律。为什么有七年之痒,为什么有一见钟情。现在,我终于发现,这些所谓的定律也许都不会发生在我的身上,我所向往的爱情是自然之爱,永远地细水长流,云淡风轻。就像何东说的,无所谓追,无所谓求,自然而然产生的爱,你的心和身体最适应的这份爱,才是最长久,最可靠。如果爱得轰轰烈烈,地动山摇,固然很动人,但过于形式化,也许在这样的过程中,你享受到的多半是激情,而非自然之爱。
     
       自然之爱,爱之自然。
     

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